Bursting Brain

No, it's not for real or sarkasm, i just feel i used my brain to much. No, I'm not a thinker, a leader, or anything that use their brain. I'm just a civil servant, i thought every body in this country know the stigma. Maybe it just because my hormone like my dermatologist said, when she can't explain more why this acne vulgaris keep their eksisting on my face or other parts of my body. or it just because i rarely use my brain so when i push it to much it like gonna explode or something else.
in this three days, my emotion changing like roller coaster, up and down, i watched a movie that i don't like, worse it took 2 and half hour and have another sequel to put all the stories. i thought i can't handle it. I'm not a big fan of hunger game. Then i've got my personal problem, i can't explain it, i just can stand it, when other play on me, and laugh when they see i beg for their help, sometimes i don't mind to do it, but on that day i just can't.
To pull out that bad and dissapointed feeling, i drawn my self with the only way i know, reading a book, nowadays i can't even finish a book in a week. i just can't find the right book, the right stories, that can hold my attention. So i've got this two books, one book that have caught my attention since two years ago but i hold my self not to buy it, and other book that i choose just because i don't know what to expected.
Casual vacancy, make me feel so bad, my first impression, confuse, i can't find the main character, so i can't put my focus on one character, then i realize there is no main character, i have to remember all character cause they all connected and have their own stories, and it was not a story about someone it just a story about a moment. and it make me feel empty. i can't get anything from that story. then i've got this fenomenal indonesian book, the sequel of supernova, it just like i expected, i can't agree more, it one kind of your soul needed, i have nothing to expected from the story then i was fascinated with it. though it doesn't make sense with my own believe. But i'm in love with the character, the location where the story goes, i love the way the author choose in delivering the stories, once again i've been enchanted.
there had to be a really long time ago, when i can spent all day to read something, enchanted with it, and totally loss with the story. i can name some book, and in every second i really miss the place that i've found inside it. after a really bad moment i found my peacefull place inside some stories. it awake my addiction, it so hard to forget the sensation, the athmosphere, the place, the scenery, people etc. I can't stop my brain extraction the words, my brain bursting with words, i can't describe it in a good way, i really love the sensation.